They say I'm Pearl - part 2

"An unidentified number", she thought as she decided whether or not to pick up her phone. The vibrating piece of plastic in her hand stopped abruptly. Sighing, Fatima realized she missed her chance to answer, even if she had finally decided to do so. She was but contemplating her habit of indecisiveness, as her phone vibrated once to remind her of a voice message. "Connecting to Voicemail...", password typed, waiting, waiting, "One new voice message, 21 saved voice messages, first voice message..." As she listened to the voice behind the receiver, Fatima's eyebrows raised, just enough for her mother, who had just stepped into the front door, to notice and ask whom it was she was speaking with. Fatima glanced up quickly, nervously, as if to avoid answering. She new very well who it was, though the man had not yet left his name. But what should she tell her mother? "Don't wait too long, she'll be even more curious.", Fatima thought scrambling to come up with something suitable to say. "It's a courtesy call! Now they call your cell phone and leave messages! Isn't that crazy?!" That's the best Fatima could do. But it seemed to have worked. "Terrible! Absolutely terrible!" cried her mother, clearly disgusted.

They Say I'm Pearl- Part 1

The typing of her laptop was barely heard over the blaring of the television. Audio checks seemed not to be part of the Pakistani Television revolution that Fatima's family indulged in. But Fatima no longer cringed at the site of yet another year of the same old Kabab King commercial. She was much more concerned with the latest photo journal posted up on Facebook: 'Noori's Mehndi' Who was Noori again? The name sounded familiar. 'Maybe it was Sana Sheikh's cousin, or was it that girl who wore way too much eye make-up at the msa meetings...", she thought. 'And who first started calling her Noori anyways...". A desi, no doubt, who became excited after learning that when one adds a phonetic 'i' at the end of a noun in Arabic, the word expresses affectionate possession. It was clear the Fatima was curious, and as she browsed through the gallery of dancing poses, she thought what perfect timing, as Punjab Auto's bhangra beat blasted forth. Her amusement was cut short: Fatima's cell phone began to vibrate, almost falling off the coffee table. She caught it and walked towards the kitchen.

Miscommunication

is not the right word at all.
adequacy within myself
the firewood of will
where is this catalyst
i am in the barren dessert
i am in the lifeless arctic

This is a lie.
i am capable of much more than this act
fools
fool
who is there?
stay awake long enough and i will know
i know now though i am that fool.

Aik Raje Ka Beta

I saw this impending trial
approaching when it was

Creeping up to the point
when arrivals became disappointing

And as if I were to catch myself
but for a moment lamenting

I hear the quiet but rising murmur
of the nightingales love singing.

Yahya Ibn Mu'aadh rahimahullah said, "The most naïve thing in my eyes is to linger in sin - with no regrets - hoping for a far off pardon and to come closer to Allah without doing anything and to wait for the harvest of Jannah with the seeds of Hell - waiting for reward without any deeds."

only 3 mintues till 12

And its always a struggle to finish without any evidence of waste. I am simply a broken record, inanimate by choice, but i desire to spin the other way. its no use until i admit to being a creation of Allah subhanahuwatala. I have a choice and i can change and there is hope and im gone now, 12.

i hate titles

if someone were to read this
then it might be seized
the figurative custody
of the truth that is me

am i out to be taken
or am i out to be used
am i out to be mirrored
or is this an invitation to intrude

what the hell am i saying
its useless and its lame
what benefit will this bring me
since my inner self hasn't changed

but maybe it's not about my insides
but your insides are the net
how about you take this from me
and let me know if it has helped

Surah Fatiha

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful

All praise is to Allah, Lord of the worlds
The Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Master of the Day of Judement
Thee do we worship, and Thine aid we seek
Show us the straight way,
The way of those on whom Thou hast bestowed Thy Grace, those whose (portion) is not wrath, and who go not astray.

Changing Climate, Changing Colors

Changing Climate, Changing Colors:
24 Contemporary Muslim Artists

January 16 – March 16, 2006

Opening Reception:
Saturday, January 20, 6-8 PM

Curated by Mareena W. Daredia, Changing Climate, Changing Colors provides insights into positions taken by contemporary Muslim artists and reflects a sense of cultural, religious, and personal identity. The work features a diverse group of artists hailing from South Asian, Middle and Far Eastern cultures. This exhibition brings together an innovative collection of painting, drawing, printmaking, calligraphy, photography, mixed-media works, digital/animation, video, sculpture, installation, and performance.

Artists: Samira Abbassy, Tareq Abboushi, Sabah Ahmed, Diana Al-Hadid, Javid Alibhai (Ja.1n.Us Art), Meher Asad, Bushra Chaudry, Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy, Khadija Daya, Hasan Elahi, Yasmin Etemadi, Huma Gul, Sarah Husain, Masood Kamandy, Yasamin Keshtkar, Asma Arshad Mahmood, Sara Rahbar, Sa’dia Rehman, Hadieh Marjan Shafie, Mo Shah, Tahera Seher Shah, Saba Waheed, Emna Zghal, and Fayyaz “Bijli”.

Abrons Arts Center
466 Grand Street at Pitt, Lower East Side

Directions
SUBWAY: F to East Broadway or Delancey (at Essex); D, B to Grand ; J, M to Essex
BUS: M15, M14, M9 to Grand Street; M22 to Montgomery St; B39 to Essex
CAR:Take the FDR Drive southbound and exit at Grand Street. Northbound FDR does not have an exit for Grand or South Street. Use the Houston St exit.
PARKING: Parking lots are available on Suffolk Street between Broome and Delancey; and East Broadway and Clinton Streets.

From about 3 years ago

I've been picturing someone who isn't here anymore
I see her, but she has no actual presence
I wait for her to speak or move and always she does what I imagine
I wish she would surprise me by doing something different.

No God But He

The secret of the Self is hid,
In words "No god but He alone".
The Self is just a dull-edged sword,
"No god but He," the grinding stone.

-Allama Iqbal
from Zarb-e-Kaleem (1936)

"Stop talking about the shaytan, just start coloring!"

As humans we have such terrible foresight. And yet we still think we are being clever when we pathetically try to make it seem like we know what is going on with our lives. We cry about our pasts, shamelessly seeking scapegoats. We worry about our futures, as if we won't have one unless we alone make it. I don't mean we shouldn't try to live, but distressing over the future as in not placing ones trust in the Merciful, thus despairing in the mercy of Allah subhanahuwatala, is perhaps what i mean. Everyday and every second of each day, we allow to pass without even considering that perhaps that second that just passed, that very second could have been the second that I could have turned walking to Allah and repented and Allah subhanahuwatala may have accepted it, running. Why am I delusioned to think that I am going to be here for the next opportunity to repent, to seek Allah's Mercy, and to get closer to Him, who is my Creator. I am sorry to come to the conclusion that the majority of seconds that I have spent of my life have probably not been spent repenting, rather they have been most reckelssly wasted in the most frivolous thoughts. And furthermore, what perhaps frightens me most is if, hypothetically speaking, i were to take a snapshot of my spiritual heart, as if i was a chain smoker about to see the results of the endoscopy of my lungs, I would actually be shocked to see the diseased darkened organ that i had otherwise assumed all this time to be labeled with the slogan "hey, i'm not a bad person". Why my heart was so black, is one nauseating thought. Why I would have been shocked to see it as such, is another nauseating thought alltogether. Let's all face it, we are quite delusioned or at least a combination of confused and careless. We often surround ourselves with useless things that contribute in no way whatsoever to our (hopefully) ultimate goal: heaven. If that's what we really want, our deeds, and our heart for that matter, should reflect our aims. I think the real question is: do my deeds reflect my belief in Allah subhanahuwatala? Over time i have come to submit to Allah as the One, True diety. But it's that every part of my entire being needs to fall in prostration to Allah. Every thought and every response, every perception and every reaction, and every one of my actions must be done through the mind, heart and body of one who is a slave of Allah. The question i now ask myself is am i truly a slave of Allah or am i delusioned to think that i am a free man?

Gibraltar

How would it have felt
to be a warrior
peering at the approaching land
soon to be known as the mountain of Tariq
being carried by the ship
soon to be burned

Would you know what awaits you
and how would you prepare?
knowing that Ezra'il (alayhis salaam) may be waiting
to greet you on this land.

Would you run to him to greet him first?

أيّها الناس، أين المفر؟ البحر من ورائكم، والعدوّ أمامكم، وليس لكم والله إلا الصدق والصبر...
O People ! There is nowhere to run away! The sea is behind you, and the enemy in front of you: There is nothing for you, by God, except only sincerity and patience.
-Tariq ibn-Ziyad
(as recounted by al-Maqqari)

Words of a perfumer

“The painter learns to see, the pianist learns to listen, I learned to smell. But it’s a question of the brain, not of the nose, and you learn it simply by experience. Everyone can smell everything I can smell, but they don’t know how to understand it, distinguish elements, or how to speak about it. That’s why I’m a perfumer.” He added, “I would say it took ten years to know, twenty to master.”


from: http://www.newyorker.com/fact/content/?050314fa_fact

Bird of faith

Our eman is like a bird. One wing represents hope. Hoping, that is, in the mercy of Allah subhanahuwatala. And the other wing represents fear, that is fearing Allah subhanahuwatala. The head of the bird, which drives our eman, is love- love for our Creator, subhanahuwatala. Ideally, the eman of a servant of Allah subhanahuwatala, as a bird, should be flying in a straight and balanced manner, flying steadfast to its destination. However, some of us, it seems, are flying in a more or less chaotic or unbalanced manner. Perhaps this is due to an unequal distribution of attention to all of ones faculties, as a bird of course.

There are some, for example, who fear Allah subhanahuwatala, but do not hope for His mercy. Therefore, these birds are flying, but are leaning in one direction, hence they are not balanced and cannot fly straight. These birds fear Allah subhanahuwatala, but since they don't hope for His mercy, they simply despair and so their eman is perhaps not functioning at an optimum potential.

On the other hand, some of us hope for Allah's mercy, but don't pay too much attention to fearing Allah subhanahuwatala. Therefore, what may result is that this individual may just simply become careless. Yes, Allah subhanahuwatala is Most Merciful, but He is also the Most Just. So we will undoubtedly be treated with justice and our deeds will be questioned. To deny this or rather neglect this is to be in a way irresponsible and this may be detrimental to the perfecting of one's eman. Again, the bird simply cannot fly straight or in a balanced manner.

Therefore, the two wings of the bird of eman need to be equal and they need to be exercised equally, for the bird to be balanced. There is the third aspect that can't be neglected: the head of the bird. The head is represented by love- loving Allah subhanahuwatala. Ask yourself, if a headless bird tried to fly, what would happen? Nothing would happen. If the bird doesn't have a head, it would be dead! Similarly, if we don't even love Allah subhanahuwatala, where does our eman stand? Perhaps it can be said that our eman is headed nowhere. It is our love for Allah subhanahuwatala that drives us and directs us to success, and without which we may be lost.

From this metaphor, it can be seen that having all three aspects of eman are critical. By maintaining our fear, hope and love for Allah subhanahuwatala, we are strengthening our eman, our faith, and by being steadfast, we are preparing ourselves towards perfecting our eman inshaAllah.

Imagine the possibilites of one whose eman is strong and perfected...

blanket

what one wishes for is to be covered
to keep away the chill
and the scarring air
to be kept safe
and be given comfort

but with this wish may come ones end
ones hope for warmth
could just lead to a reason to deny
and to ignore what is true
the blanket could be a wolf

A portal to perforation

precut
prepared
indeed i hope to follow
a plan most anticipated
a goal most neglected

inshaAllah