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The Second Glance

To have no chance to look twice
is to mean you never looked away the first time
and is this a sin just as the second glance?

Is it your desire that keeps you there
or is it your knowledge of the empty space
whose presence could be what is standing before you

Don't blink, not even once
for the closing of your eyes
might cause your emptiness to remain as its been for so long

And the chance for your glance to become your death
is even more possible

What will cause your demise?

The thought of losing your completion
or the possibility of being the mouse entrapped

Ramadan everyday

Anxiously waiting to hear the announcement for Eid, I was thinking about the countless blessings of the month that was departing. My anxiety wasn't so much because I was excited about the holiday, but rather it was due to my having to let go of peace. Like any Muslim, I didn't want Ramadan to leave me. It seemed I had just begun to realize the bounties saturated within this month, let alone start to take advantage of them. I had just learned to experience the beauty of reciting Quran, holding my tongue, of praying qiyam. "I can't believe it's all over," I thought as I waited to hear the news of Eid. But alas! Allah had granted me another day of peace as I was told Eid would be the day after next and not the next day. I had one more day to bask in the blessings of Ramadan, to soak in the goodness of the month and to earn rewards that I perhaps could not earn any other time of year. But what will happen when tomorrow is gone? I will find myself in the same predicament.

I have concluded that while Ramadan is a month that is definitively a physical period predetermined as the moon testifies, it is also very much defined by our hearts and minds. We can switch on the light of Ramadan if we want to. It is within our reach, but we must stretch our arms to get it. And if it is within our reach, then it seems to me it can be obtained any time of year. I recall sitting in the masjid during this month in the middle of the night. The lights were dimmed and if you were to listen carefully, you could hear only the continuous murmur of reciting servants. You could bend in sujood and spend countless minutes conversing with your Lord, imploring Him for guidance, yearning for His love. And while generally in Ramadan we may feel a continuous stream of the eman high, we somehow trick ourselves into thinking that the second Ramadan ends and Shawwal begins, we don't have to be as devote. We are under the impression that perhaps the new moon has brought with it some sort of barrier between us and Allah. And so we submit to the idea that like the temporal period of time that passed us, the attitude too was simply temporal, our behavior as ephemeral as our breath. Why do we fall, or, rather jump into this yearly trap? Who are we kidding?

Ramadan can persist within us, even during the month of Shawwal, and the month of Safar and even every other Islamic month we don't know the name of (let's face it, it's sad but true). We can enjoy the recitation of the Quran and we can strive to make it the spring of our hearts. We can restrain ourselves from indulging in backbiting and slandering others. And we can, without a doubt inshaAllah, converse with our Lord with just as much sincerity as we had in those late night Ramadan qiyams. It is but a matter of seeing Ramadan in a new light- as not just a month made up of a certain number of days and nights, but as an essence dwelling forever within us. We can turn the light of Ramadan on, on any given day or night, turning to the One who gave us the ability to think outside the box, just occasionally.

They say I'm Pearl - part 2

"An unidentified number", she thought as she decided whether or not to pick up her phone. The vibrating piece of plastic in her hand stopped abruptly. Sighing, Fatima realized she missed her chance to answer, even if she had finally decided to do so. She was but contemplating her habit of indecisiveness, as her phone vibrated once to remind her of a voice message. "Connecting to Voicemail...", password typed, waiting, waiting, "One new voice message, 21 saved voice messages, first voice message..." As she listened to the voice behind the receiver, Fatima's eyebrows raised, just enough for her mother, who had just stepped into the front door, to notice and ask whom it was she was speaking with. Fatima glanced up quickly, nervously, as if to avoid answering. She new very well who it was, though the man had not yet left his name. But what should she tell her mother? "Don't wait too long, she'll be even more curious.", Fatima thought scrambling to come up with something suitable to say. "It's a courtesy call! Now they call your cell phone and leave messages! Isn't that crazy?!" That's the best Fatima could do. But it seemed to have worked. "Terrible! Absolutely terrible!" cried her mother, clearly disgusted.

They Say I'm Pearl- Part 1

The typing of her laptop was barely heard over the blaring of the television. Audio checks seemed not to be part of the Pakistani Television revolution that Fatima's family indulged in. But Fatima no longer cringed at the site of yet another year of the same old Kabab King commercial. She was much more concerned with the latest photo journal posted up on Facebook: 'Noori's Mehndi' Who was Noori again? The name sounded familiar. 'Maybe it was Sana Sheikh's cousin, or was it that girl who wore way too much eye make-up at the msa meetings...", she thought. 'And who first started calling her Noori anyways...". A desi, no doubt, who became excited after learning that when one adds a phonetic 'i' at the end of a noun in Arabic, the word expresses affectionate possession. It was clear the Fatima was curious, and as she browsed through the gallery of dancing poses, she thought what perfect timing, as Punjab Auto's bhangra beat blasted forth. Her amusement was cut short: Fatima's cell phone began to vibrate, almost falling off the coffee table. She caught it and walked towards the kitchen.

Miscommunication

is not the right word at all.
adequacy within myself
the firewood of will
where is this catalyst
i am in the barren dessert
i am in the lifeless arctic

This is a lie.
i am capable of much more than this act
fools
fool
who is there?
stay awake long enough and i will know
i know now though i am that fool.